Category Archives: Gaming

The GC Anti-Troll University

Hi.
One of those strange thoughts passed through my head.
I was going to sleep, and I mean that…that was the plan. Then I thought.

I wonder if people make money trolling trolls?

Then I thought well there is the whole argument that the best way to deal with trolls is to ignore them.
….and then Rupret thought
Yeah but there are people out there that would pay good money to see a particularly monumental colossal douche of a troll get handed his ass
[Ok Rupret I’ll go along with that]
To be an anti-troll though wouldn’t you have to take on trollesque qualities?
Not necessarily, black witch trolls are bad, white witch trolls are good.
Well I asked my selves who would be the best anti-troll?
They would have to have a quick wit, not be afraid to get down and greasy and covered in troll shit, and someone a known figure would be fantastic.
Then it came to me. George Carlin would be the perfect anti-troll. I’ve never heard a person weave a string of profanity and scathing sarcasm into such a wondrous clothe that it was almost eloquent
Too bad George is gone.
I still miss him
Then I thought maybe that could be George’s legacy
The George Carlin School of Troll Slaying

Our Professors in the subtle art of Sarcasm and Wit rank among the top in the country

The Board would be people like Chris Rock, Lisa Lamponelli, Daniel Tosh, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert
After studying in the art of Georgisms students would be set loose in the ether to find work slaying trolls, all under George’s name. I’m sure there would be some sort of licensing of copyright involved…but for now

George Carlin as the anti-troller.

Warning the following material contains profanity , violations of privacy and decency as well as devient criminal acts of a sexual nature….George would be so proud.

Hi ,
Yes it’s me . The actual George Carlin. You should feel special. They sent me in to tell you exactly how many ways you can go fuck yourself. Since your dad is done doing it. I can tell because your sister just went off-line, it must be her turn. There’s… bottomways, topways, yesterdays and Tuesdays…. , There’s silly, stupid, sideways, two ways to Sunday, and anally with cupid’s …..(deep voice) bowwww. There’s royally, your mother, your father, your whole family, or just like your family tree. With a candlestick, glee, and finally….Like it’s free.
“Hi. It’s George again. I just heard from a fan that judging by your girlfriend’s web history, she seems to have an awful big curiosity about interracial….relationships.
Oh, and she has verified to her friend bubbles451 that someone named “bull” that you work with…isn’t called that because of his penchant for stubbornness.

Hey don’t get mad at me I didn’t hack her account, what can I say I have fans, they have skills, all I did was open an email. And jerk off to a picture of your grandmother…I did that too.

Oh goodness I feel so…dirty
Ruprets happy, he’s over there smoking a cigarette.
I don’t know if
The George Carlin School of Troll Slaying
Would ever take off. It was just a thought.
You never know though, could create a lot of jobs.


Happy Ingress Anniversery

Followers this post is about a game called ingress. I share it with you here rather than just a post on Facebook or Google+ because of the impact it has had on my life in general. There is some jargon involved, hopefully you will read on ….and maybe find out for yourself what it all means.
November15th marks the two year anniversary of the Augmented Reality Game (ARG) Ingress. My own experiance in the game is reaching its first year anniversary. The Google+ community is sharing stories via the hashtag #ingressyeartwo, so for our two anniversaries this is my tale:
I initially heard of Ingress through the online publication Android Central. It was an article announcing the game for open play, a history of its development, a short detailed description of the gameplay, and storyline.
I had just finished a round of binge watching the show Numb3ers on Netflix. One of the episodes dealt with a MMORPG that had a ARG component for part of its elite player round. I thought it was very interesting, and wished at the time I could find something similar on Android.
I followed the link embedded within the article and downloaded the game immediately, when I got to the faction selection portion I realized I needed to reread the storyline. I figured if it was game in which I would interact with others I should at least know why I had chosen what I was choosing. I decided on the Resistance. From what I read if I had actually experienced XM exposure, the mindset of the Resistance was more inline with what my own reaction might be to the possibility of global exposure.
I fell in love immedietly. Ingress has a massive appeal to the male mentality of capturing and holding one’s “territory”. It combines the idea of online siege games, strategy gaming, and good ol’ fashioned concepts like capture the flag, which I think is the most apt way of describing the game to those you hope to recruit. It has several areas of gameplay that reward for achievement with badges including hacking/capturing unique portals (exploration), and the creation by agents of new portals.
The only aspect I was leary of was the in game comm device, which shows all activity within the range you have it set to cover, and would give my location to the other players. It is a mobile application after all, and like shit, trolls happen, except these trolls were people in my vacinity and I might be forced into a position where I would have to stand next to someone who was trolling me on a virtual interface.
At heart I am an introvert, often awkward socially, so this worried me, and I would come to find my fears justified.
But that is a story of people, of drama, motivations, and ego. This is a story of Ingress, and love for the game.
“Get out and move”
Ingress has brought me joy, pain, focus, hundreds of miles away from home, and out of my shell. Ingress taught me about betrayal, history, navigation, comradeship, patience, and malice. Ingress has inspired me to action, to examine other actions, and to acts of generosity. Ingress has kept me fit, shown me the beauty of a well thought out game, humbled me, and rubbed me raw.
Ingress has brought me enlightenment that can’t be picked
battles that were tricks
honored me with friendship, and proven people can be dicks.
Then Rupret takes over and they get to see mine, and through it all still I get my kicks.

My Ingress anniversary has seen my wife imprisoned (I drove with the headlights on even during the day after that for …well I still catch myself doing it), and then when she upgraded her phone became my favorite agent with which to travel and hack. This year saw me try and fail to attend two Anomolies. One, very near in Nashville, so close to my entry to the game that I didn’t know to request off work. The other we intended to travel almost 200 miles to attend, only to get turned around halfway. A higher plan was at play I think now, if I had been in Birmingham then the lady that threw a brake rotor on her SUV would have kept going on home after her cursory inspection, but I wasn’t in Birmingham, and ran across the road from the gas station where I was stretching my legs and showed her the still smoldering rotor, saving her hundreds of dollars in further repairs, if not her life. I wouldn’t have gotten to see Gruetli-Laager. Did you know there was a town in Tennessee comprised of an entire village worth of Swedes that just picked up and came over? Me either until that day.
This higher plan then saw me receive an Anomoly badge without ever traveling to a event site. As part of the effort to slow the advance of Devra’s infection agents from areas of Tennessee, Alabama, and Kentucky created a cross-faction mega field that to my knowledge still holds a placing for longest standing teal fields. My area being an anchor, I was approached about being liaison for the anchor protection. Nashville was also a connected site for that weekends anomaly event, and the fields , our faction’s being the largest, helped for the win. The operating agent deemed me worthy to receive the Helios badge , though I still maintain I only resisted my natural desire to kill frog scum.
This year saw me be the first agent, to my knowledge, in an area that covers almost my entire region become the first non-founder(open game play) agent. It was a lesson for everyone. Hehehe.
This year saw me reach 56 approved portals, and if I was coherent there is now a picture for your post office instead of a bunch of white noise. If someone mispelled a name, it’s been fixed, and if I had time, the story descripted.
This year saw my wife and I, through work or joy riding, visit every library, post office (wayward or not) and little main street town within a 70 km radius of our home. Where there was a Courthouse Veterens Memorial portal we hacked it, where there wasn’t we submitted it, and made plans to return. The portals visited some agents get never leaving their metropolitan area, we got with our scanners approaching 600 and 700 km traveled, and we always return richer for the experience. I could go on and on, but if I do it will be year three before I finish. Let me close with a couple things.
First the Ingress community, as an introvert who spends most of his free time in serious analysis of the crazy crap that runs through his head, the Ingress community has been a blessing to me, I have met, and read stories about, so many amazing people. Knowing that agent sped to an anchor to kill a multiple k MU field moments before checkpoint is a glorious thing, laughing about it on private chat, even more so. Coming together to take down the enemy, these are the things we Ingress for.
Two. Massive Ops. Whether its an Anomaly event with hundreds or thousands of agents, a charity drive, capturing millions of Mind Units, or fabulous field art, nothing shows the separation, and evolution of gaming more than real people, in the real world, taking the concept of gaming to the next level, and effecting not just the actions of some pixels on a console in front of them, but the world around them…for better or ill.
#ingressyearthree #J4sW1nyeartwo? Cant wait to see what will you bring!


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